cannyben

Comparisons, it is said, are odious. And yet this is the criterion we use to judge every aspect of our lives. We keep in mind a frame of reference for almost everything – happiness, success, peace, pleasure, pain. You may be successful, but another’s greater success makes you uncomfortable. The mind has an inbuilt comparative calculator. You are good only so long as you are not pitched against someone better. And bad, till someone worse comes along. Your child’s 97 per cent marks are celebrated till you realise another classmate scored 97.5 per cent. The focus now shifts to the half percentage more the child could have achieved. Comparisons are at the heart of sibling rivalry. Parents pitch children against each other in a bid to push them. This creates feelings of inadequacy and a lifelong habit of focussing on others, rather than bettering your own lot. Work culture is vitiated by comparisons of salary, perks, bonus and allocation of work. How sad is it that in order to get an...

Fear of Failure There are several sources of fear. One is that students may feel ashamed to fail, especially in terms of family expectations. It should be noted that it is more “honorable” to receive a low grade than to be caught cheating or plagiarizing. Other students may feel their writing or research skills are so weak, that they can only pass the course if they buy a paper written by someone else. Clear guidelines may help students put their skills in perspective Finally students may claim that they are unable to state the content of a source as well as the original.  In that scenario, instructors may wish to explain that being able to rephrase a concept is important for the assignment as well as for learning overall. Demanding Schedules (and Lack of Planning) Students who work or have heavy class loads may decide there is not enough time to do the assignment properly. Guidance on organization and the assignment may show students how to better plan their time. Stude...

We are good only because we have resisted bad; honest because we choose not to lie. Shadows are dependent on the existence of light.  We enjoy a break only  when you have a busy work schedule.  Who would enjoy warmth if there was no cold. Indeed, we are what we are because the opposite exists. Strike it down and we are no more. Does it then mean we allow evil to prosper so that we can be good ? May be not. Nature gives us a clue. When we plant a  sapling, it grows towards sunlight, it is actually dependent on its roots, digging further into the darkness of the earth. Both extremes are vital to its life. And when it has grown to its full potential, it breaks open to sprout seeds, which again fall back to the ground. Nature’s cycle of life. Contrast and balance is essential to life. We are good not because we have no bad within us, but because we have resisted it and struck a balance that suits us. In one of TV programme,  a woman advises her granddaughter ...