cannyben

If all the investments we’ve made in life, the only one that keeps coming back to us in manifold is that of goodwill and kindness. A sense of courtesy and kindness has always been appreciated and remembered by people for years to come. It has invariably come back to us in some form or the other. If we were to ask anyone to believe just one thing with their eyes closed, then this is it – goodwill is the only guarantee that holds us in good stead all through life. At times, this goodwill involves just a basic courtesy, such as inviting some people to sit, listening to them, using a kind note, asking about their welfare, or just saying “please” or “thank you”. Often, we speak hastily in rage, or even more important, don’t watch our tone, which results in long-lasting resentments that cost us precious time and energy. It is so important to show appreciation and care. No matter how busy we are, it is important to pause and work. It is important to be kind, and this is quite obviou...

LOVE: Most of us think that love gets diminished when we start loving more people, that we have only a limited amount of the emotion, which we should be very careful in dispensing. We worry about divided loyalties and being fair to all those we love. Often, we wonder about women who had multiple children and how little love each child must be getting. However, now we know that love expands to include more. The more we love, the bigger our capacity for the emotion becomes.   Love is not quantifiable and therefore not finite. But love is not indestructible. If not cherished and nurtured, it can indeed be lost ! Love does not hang around indefinitely, waiting for nourishment. Love needs to know that it is cherished, welcomed and appreciated. Love demands love, and in the absence of appreciation, dwindles, and may even fade away. Loving others and being loved back gives us an unparalled sense of well-being and a rare confidence. We all cherish those who love us because ...

Alumni relations is the misunderstood sibling of fund raising. The two have much in common — interacting with people who are no longer studying and working at your campus — and one can lead to the other. But they are different. Good alumni relations has many non-financial benefits, and if it becomes "all about the money," you risk alienating both regular alumni and major donors. Administrative work can be partitioned in many ways — one of which is to distinguish between internal versus external tasks. If, for example, you chair a chemistry department, you may spend most of your time on internal functions, reacting to the needs of chemistry majors, professors, and staff members. Externally, you may talk with alumni at commencement or when they come back to guest lecture in a class. Occasionally you will meet with a graduate to "seal the deal" on a potential donation. If you’re a dean, on the other hand, you very likely have significant and constant outside ...

I saw a man smoking as he drove. Mentally, I compartmentalized  him as a weak person who is slave to addiction. A bit further on I saw a woman driving with a cigarette. My passion thought was that she was trying to have her “moment” – I imagined her to be a liberated woman and in charge of herself. Instantly, I realized  both thoughts were judgmental  and gender discriminatory, resulting from preconceived notions – the result of a lifetime of experience, observations and readings. In this case, it didn’t matter too much as I am unlikely to interact with them ever. But what happens when we carry such preconceived notions into our everyday relationships and interactions ? Almost always such prejudices impact relationships. So, if a woman believes that men are disrespectful to women, she is going through approach every man she ever meets cautiously, and her interactions are bound to be stiff and wary. We keep striking at imagined enemies, reacting to past exper...

No matter what your major-and even if you’ve been working for a while - here are the basics everyone needs for success. People who consistently hit the ball out of the park didn’t necessarily have the most impressive degrees or credentials, or the fanciest titles. Instead, the ones who stood out, and went furthest, were those with the best “people skills”. Call it emotional intelligence (EQ), or soft skills, a knack for connecting with other people is crucial, from finding your first job until the day you retire. Institutions/Companies always hire someone-or don’t- based on the ‘little’ stuff, like showing up on time, smiling, making eye contact, a positive attitude. These are the things no one teaches you in school, yet they make an enormous difference. Of course, the basics come naturally to some, but others never learn them. To take just one example, most people never think of sending a post-interview note, briefly recapping the conversation. This is one of the habits ...

The young have taken to the streets world over and taken the charge for leading change. The youth has taken to the streets all over the world for issues they sense are vital to their future. Increasingly, the younger generation has taken lead roles on the world stage in public protests and advocacy related to environment, corruption, rape, censorship, campaign for gun control in the US, issues of citizenship and extradition as in Hong Kong, and recently in India, in support of the continuing secular spirit of the nation. It is natural that the youth should be concerned, as they are the ones who hold the future in their hands. Swedish activist Greta Thunberg and Nobel Prize winner Malala   Yousafzai are universally recognized faces of youth activism. However, there are thousands of other young people working for various political, social and economic causes. Adults dominate the   political discourse, but young people have demonstrated that today’s youth are inform...

What causes a sense of emptiness, sometimes even after success ? How can we deal with it ? When you finally achieve a long-desired goal, how should you be feeling ? Euphoric, excited, energized, full of plans – right ? This is what you wanted, planned and worked hard for. Life from here on should be satisfaying and happy. And yet so many feel this gaping hole right after the achievement of a goal – a void that belies the sense of success. It is almost as if the striving and yearning was far more exciting than the prize that is in your hands now. Young men and women who have been lucky enough to achieve their hearts’ desire and get coveted job or academic assignment are suddenly at a loss, feeling this deep sense of emptiness. They talk about it and the pain of that emptiness pushes many into depression and a state of hopelessness. What went wrong ?   The pursuit of the goal sometimes becomes so important that it become one’s life – and without the task that has been c...

The life long struggle to stay relevant keeps us all engaged. In fact, once basic survival is taken care of, the struggle for relevance is the only struggle that concerns us all through life. We care about only those who are relevant to us, and are cared for by only those to whom we stay relevant. The day we are not relevant to anyone or anything we are no good to the world and cease to exist. We are relevant to those who depend on us for their happiness, security, success or even entertainment. We are also relevant   to those who rely on us for their income, their well-being or upbringing. When we fulfill another person’s   emotional needs, we are supremely to them. Give someone the feeling that we understand him/her more than anyone, and you instantly become indispensable. As a guide and master who shows people a path towards well-being and success, we become very pertinent too. Love is the universal way of staying relevant, we are of importance to all those who love u...

Though this question inspires as many answers as people asked, everyone ultimately wishes to achieve the same thing. Recently, I met one of my old students and got talking. We met after some years and while catching up, the student told, he had started focusing more and more on himself as he grew older. Earlier, he used to think that is a selfish thing to do, but now he knew that is only by focusing on own self that he could focus on the important things of life – his family, his work, and all the things he held dear. So true, he had hit upon an important eternal truth. So often we make the mistake of giving importance to everything else in life at the cost of our own selves. We go off on a tangent chasing a passion or a need, forgetting that life calls for balance. We think there is plenty of time for that later, but that time never comes for those who put it off. It is a matter of attitude and of prioritizing. The truth is that everything we seek and chase is a means to...

If a single insight could sum up the case for strategic planning in higher education, it would be the Stoic philosopher Seneca’s observation that, if you don’t know which port you’re sailing to, "no wind is favorable." Yet all of that time you spend leading a strategic-planning process for a department, college, or institution will prove fruitless if the plan doesn’t identify: ·          Realistic objectives that can be accomplished within a set period of time. ·          Arguments, values, and rationales behind those objectives. ·          Metrics to mark their success or progress. ·          Resources (money, people, materials, facilities) to reach and sustain the objectives. Seems pretty straightforward. But of course, many less certain variables — political, cultural, psychological, bureaucratic — can assist or im...

You don’t have to be an expert to write about something. Academics are trained to learn a lot about a fairly narrow topic and then write about it over and over for a very long time. You might assume you can only write on a familiar topic. But that isn’t true. I’m not an "expert" on teen television, rape culture, immigration, children’s literature, clothing. Early on, you may feel uncomfortable straying too far from your discipline or sub field but eventually that won’t seem like such a big deal. Straying could give you valuable new perspectives on your work in your field. If you agree to write for no pay, know what you signed up for. I won’t say "don’t ever write for free." But it pays off in many other ways: It ends up attracting hundreds of thousands of page views and garnering responses ranging from beautiful to terrifying. But by writing for no pay essentially lowers the value of written work for both yourself and other writers. Even if writing isn’t you...

We live in an age of global change, the culmination of a process that has been going on for more than two hundred and fifty years. Impressive technological, scientific and cultural achievements seem to have been accompanied by a deep erosion of the sense of meaning and the possibility of meaning of life. Along with economic well-being, enormous existential difficulties are revealed which are expressed in the demand for meaning. Along with the empowerment of and rights to the individual, there is an ongoing breakdown of communal life leading to loneliness and a crisis of meaning that has political and social implications. After years of little interest, questions about the meaning of life and the forces that shape our perspectives on this issue are now receiving renewed interest in the academic, professional, practitioner, personal and other spheres. However, it seems that we are still far from understanding not only these questions and the answers to them, but also the tangible imp...

Spirituality recognises that there is more reality than just the material world. The intuition that our lives have meaning and are part of something bigger is a powerful motivator for us to cultivate our spiritual side. The mystical experiences and beliefs that arise from this engagement can stimulate our imagination in unexpected ways. Feelings of transcendence and awe have inspired creative people, artists, writers and composers throughout the ages, and continue to influence cultures around the world. Spirituality has certainly not gone away in a hyper-connected age, but finds new modes of expression and practice. Spirituality and culture are closely linked. How we treat other people, what and when we eat and drink, how we interact with – and transcend – the everyday world are all affected by our spiritual orientation. Our spiritual commitments may prompt us to seek social change, travel to sacred places, and follow particular rituals to put us in touch with something beyond ever...

In many courses, the days after the first exam can be stressful. Some students might feel worried about the results, or even doubt their abilities. So at the end of one challenging exam, a professor took a few minutes of class time to reassure the students.  Her brief remarks led to the kind of email that every faculty member should want to receive:  “The speech you gave post-exam was something I needed to hear. Thank you for reminding me that I belong here and have the potential to succeed.”  The student’s words tell you a lot about the instructor’s teaching style. Besides teaching content and skills in your discipline, your role is to help students learn. And not just some students. The changing demographics of higher education mean that undergraduates come to you with a wide variety of experiences, cultures, abilities, skills, and personalities. You have an opportunity to take that mix and produce a diverse set of thinkers and problem-solvers. Teaching inclusiv...